The phrase toxic masculinity has become a cultural lightning rod. For some, it names a harmful set of behaviours – dominance, emotional suppression, aggression – that continue to shape power structures in workplaces and beyond. For others, it feels like an attack on men altogether.
Neither of those extremes leaves us much room to move.
At Habitus, we work with leaders and teams who want to hold a different kind of conversation – one that doesn’t reduce complexity to blame, but instead opens space for curiosity and cultural evolution. And that starts with understanding what toxic masculinity is actually pointing to: not that masculinity is inherently harmful, but that some inherited versions of it no longer serve us. In fact, they’re hurting all of us – across gender, identity, and workplace role.
This is where Brave Conversations come in.
Because before we can redefine masculinity, we need a space where people can reflect honestly on what they’ve inherited, what they’ve internalised, and what they want to let go of.
Masculinity, like any cultural identity, is not one thing. It’s a set of expectations, performances, and norms that shift across time, place, and context. But when those expectations become rigid – when there’s only one “right” way to be a man – it limits everyone’s humanity.
This rigidity is what many people are really pointing to when they talk about toxic masculinity. It’s the idea that men should never cry, never need help, never soften. That leadership means control. That vulnerability is weakness. That being respected means being feared.
And in workplaces, we see the impact everywhere:
These aren’t just individual habits – they’re symptoms of a toxic workplace culture that reinforces outdated ideas about power and identity. And everyone – men, women, non-binary folks – ends up contorting themselves to fit inside those boxes.
We often think of gendered norms as something to explore in personal or political settings. But the workplace is where many of these expectations are rehearsed and reinforced. Hierarchies, policies, communication norms, and leadership behaviours all carry messages about what’s acceptable and what’s not.
That’s why inclusion in the workplace must include a conversation about masculinity – not to shame, but to invite reflection.
We’ve worked with male leaders who felt immense pressure to always have the answer. Who avoided coaching because it felt like an admission of weakness. Who interpreted feedback as a threat to their authority. These are intelligent, values-driven people – and still, they were stuck inside an unspoken narrative about what a “real leader” should be.
Until we talk about that narrative, we can’t change it. And until we change it, we can’t truly build inclusive, relational workplaces.
Changing something as deeply embedded as masculinity culture requires space, skill, and trust. That’s where Brave Conversations offer a critical tool.
These are structured, facilitated spaces where people can unpack cultural assumptions, explore identity with nuance, and speak into discomfort without fear of being shut down or shamed. When done well, they allow men to talk about the costs of the roles they’ve been handed – and allow others to speak honestly about how those roles impact them.
In these conversations, masculinity stops being a target and becomes a topic. Something that can be redefined, reimagined, and reshaped in real time, with accountability and compassion.
So what does it look like to shift the story? It starts with leaders who are willing to go first – who choose self-awareness over control, and connection over performance. It continues in team environments where people are encouraged to speak fully, feel deeply, and relate with care.
Some practical steps we often recommend:
None of this work is fast. But it is necessary. Because redefining masculinity is part of redefining what power looks like, and who gets to hold it.
Habitus supports organisations to have the conversations they’ve been avoiding – with skill, care, and purpose.
This 2-minute culture check offers a safe way to surface the conversations your people might be holding back — and what to do about it.
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